Must Work

I've got the day off today, so it's time for me to make a determined effort to get on top of the paperwork. (specifically, my RDA) I've just been reading up on the things I agreed to do at my last meeting (making proper notes was a godsend) and I think I did myself a favour by concocting the proposal I made for the Philadelphia conference. (It was rejected, which of course sucked, but I had a good reason to boil my ideas down a bit, which was helpful.) Essentially I have to boil 'em down a bit further now, greatly aided by the work I did previously.

Spent the night at L's last night and slept and slept and slept. I feel so much better now.

I shouldn't be wasting precious time writing this. Adios

pic?

works?

Whistling Copse

What's this new project?

I've found details of a murder which took place near Bath in the thirties at a place called, rather auspiciously, Whistling Copse, in a part called "Midnight Wood". Some gamekeepers disturbed a poacher who ended up shooting one of the keepers in the throat. There's a whole series of newspaper pieces about it on old-looking microfilm all covered with nifty-looking scratches and lens artifacts and hair and so on, and it looks fabulous. There's all this other stuff about land and hunting and its depiction I can draft in visually as well- from the decoration of hunting rifles to pheasants on china. And class issues and so on, with a bit of Roald Dahl's "Danny the Champion of the World" for good measure. And lots of mud, blood and trees. Also, it was an important test case in establishing the validity of ballistics evidence in proving or constructing the details of the case. I wish I could get hold of the court transcript (if it exists and that's how these things work. I work in a library, so you'd think I'd know, but hem hem I don't sothere). There's almost too much to get started with. I can't seem to find my way into a single narrative strand to kickstart the illustrative drive in my practice- not that I think of my books as illustration. It's more a part of the machinery that I want a verbal way-in to the topics. Perhaps it has something to do with my girlfriend's being a proper poet, rather than my half-arsed wordery? WORK!

RWA

I'm just about to miss a deadline for a local exhibition at the Royal West of England Academy, having been specifically warned in advance by an artist friend that they were specially keen on artists' books (like unto wot I make). I don't have anything I want to show currently, and I'm sort of failing to work on a really promising project that's been kicking around for months. I must do more work on the artwork, but there's always some other extracurricular thing to do...and hey, don't artists get to have a social life too? Anyway, rather than beat myself up, I'm going to be a brave soldier and rededicate myself to the tasks in hand. Is it timing? Is it the absense of visible deadlines? Is it me? (I wouldn't describe myself as lazy: quite the opposite. Do I need to switch priorities a bit? What's negotiable? SPECIAL NOTE: also, I am BROKE, which always makes these things seem a bit worse than they really are. As my v. grate hero J. Bernard once sa "it's all been a dreadful thrash, and it's got to stop."

Back to work. (Bom-Bom go the galley drums. I feel the sting o' the lash and strive gracefully on...)

why

Came across someone's blog today asking people why they are creative. I tried to think it over myself, and truthfully, it hurts the old head to do so, but nonetheless, I can feel that it might sometimes be good to dig these things over, y'know, once in a way. I think the nature of my creativity changes from one week to the next- and sometimes it's completely dormant and I just want to hang out eating chips and shooting monsters on the ol' Xbox. But I still keep making these choices that mean I substitute money for doing what I love, and substitute some sorts of success for others. I'd like to see the rewards as an artist, and I suppose I have to retune myself to them to feel them when they do come my way. But right now, I feel poor and unappreciated. I've got the core of a couple of very good books in the background at the moment, but quite how to approach them isn't coming to me just now. It's not so bad as feeling actually blocked, or whatever, but I can't find my way into the things I want to do. Also, I've been doing so much in the way of reading and thinking about research for the last few months that my head isn't where it should be in regard to some of these things. I should go away and draw for a week. But we both know I'll do no such thing.

Now with added fibre

Well,

I've just signed up for a proper paid-for internet service for the first time. Hopefully this means I'll be more present. We shall see...